What I'm thinking about.

I'm thinking about you like olympians thinks about gold.
Like scientists think about answers and answers think about being found out.
I'm thinking about you like chefs think about a recipe.
Like Philosopers think about life. Like life thinks about death and death thinks about memories.

Other things are different.

I',m thinking about you like sumo wrestlers think about a diets.
Like Allen Iverson thinks about practice.
Like summer thinks about winter.
Like black thinks about white.
Like flowers think about weeds.
I'm thinking about you like the bobcats think about winning eight games.

Uncertainty

Is all i'm saying just a bunch of blah blah blah?

Are you gonna read my words?

Or are you gonna feel my words?

Am i making any impression?

I'm Bob Loblaw, but i don't say blah blah blah.                          

Read my words if you're kind.

Feel my words if you care.

Maybe i made an impression, maybe i'm just blind.

I'm too afraid of making a creative title for this post.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Nelson Mandela

This is one of my favorite quotes ever. It has got to be the most optimistic view on fear that there's ever been and that's why i like it so much. It gives me hope of overcoming my fears of inadequacy, rejection, and regret. Fear is always going to be a part of our lives. Fear is inevitable. Fear is necessary.  

What it is.

I have decided that when i find my passion or passions later in life i will chase them and go 100% in them. What you are passionate about is what makes you happy. And i believe that nothing is more important than happiness.

Lately, for some reason, people have been talking a lot about church around me. I havent been in over a year, but i know im still a good person. People who don't follow church rules nearly as well as i do talk down to me for not going. Are they better than me because they go to church? No, well at least i dont think so. Who would god hold in a higher esteem: a man who goes to church every sunday and lives a pretty normal life or and atheist that is a humanitarian that donates to charity, funds disease research and tries to make an impact on ending poverty? I think most of the human race would say the latter but because of the place we live in a lot of people would say the former. I love alpine and i love utah, but i feel like the people are so like minded/closed minded that any intelligent debate could never take place. Excited to get out of high school and meet some people that can actually accept, or at least think about new ideas. #thatishcray

Love. What else is there?

Love! what a great topic, well most of the time it is.
Love is something i enjoy talking about and listening too. It's a great subject, who doesn't LOVE a good LOVE story??

When we were asked in class what we thought love was, my initial statement sounded kind of bland so i'd like to change it to: Love is what makes you the happiest. Love is what you think about when you wake up and when you go to bed. Love is definitely a drug. Love is doing everything you can when you know there's only a .000001% chance of it working out. Love is what drives us, compels us to do what we do. Love is a lot of things, it might even be everything. Who knows?

I know it is extremely difficult to move on with love, but i am excited for that day to come. My heart says to hold on, my brain says to let go. If i act on my heart it might end our friendship. If i act on my brain....well i could regret it for the rest of my life. I don't want to have a "what if?" haunting me for my entire life. Who knows what could happen.... one thing i am sure of is that i will end up happy. That' the goal of my life. I know when i find the one, (even though right now i think i have found the one, but im a dumb teenager so i don't trust my judgement right now) i will treat her amazing. she is going to be my whole world, that sounds dumb and sappy, but when you choose to spend the rest of your life with one person you have to invest the whole 100% because anything else isn't love.

Change-up

A change-up is a type of pitch in baseball, right? Where the ball looks like its going one way and then all of the sudden it goes the other.

Life has all kinds of change-ups. Some can be huge events like going to a new school, a divorce, a death in the family. Some can be small. You can ask a simple question and the answer could have a much larger effect on you than you thought it would. The things people say stick. Depending on the person it might stick forever.

I feel like my whole life is in a sort of "change-up" right now. Nothing huge has happened, i'm still me, always will be, but why do i feel this way? My friends are still close, but they're all different, they're all changing. I don't think i like it, but should i even care?? I am out of here after graduation because all these things that i thought were solid in my life are changing. Maybe all these small "change-ups" are having a more negative effect on me than a huge "change-up" would.

Going to college is what i would call a huge change. I want things to go back to the way they were, but i don't see it happening. I think college is what i need. Maybe some girls there can actually recognize the value of a person that cares about them. Everyone talks about living it up in high school, but my definition of living it up and the worlds definition are drastically different. People say they want a lot of friends when all they need are good friends. The saying "quality over quantity" is not even applicable to most people nowadays, at least concerning friendships.

Humans

First off, i'd just like to say that maybe none of us are human and we are all government created androids. There's really no way of knowing.

But....if we are human, some of the requirements to be human would be to be able to think critically, the ability to form opinions, love, and we would need to eat and drink to survive. Humans are a unique species because they don't just survive, they live the way they want to and they have a consciousness that allows them to see the consequences of their actions, which i think is pretty cool. Humans are considered to be the most intelligent species on earth, but a lot of the time they will believe anything they hear. Stupid people in large groups is a very dangerous and prominent force on our planet and it is frustrating to see ignorant people make uninformed decisions, but that's just another part of being human that we have to deal with. At least we can recognize the stupidity of others unlike any other animal. If we (humans) didn't have the ability to think critically we would live much simpler and less fulfilling lives, but then again ignorance is bliss isn't it. The topic of humans is a pretty broad topic so there is a lot to talk about, but those are the things that came to my mind as i thought of being human.

Introduction

Hey blog world, i'm bob. I'm excited to get #Bloggy here on the world wide web. I enjoy chess, dust collecting, and scrapbooking. I have never done a blog before so i'm looking forward to having a new hobby, hopefully it will be something i like to do, it will definitely take some getting used to.

I didn't like the thought of keeping everything anonymous and using a pen name so i used my real name, Bob Loblaw. That's just one of the crazy things i do. I'm all about pushing things to the limit. I plan on being a pretty yolo blogger.